From My Labor Day

One year from right now I was in labor. This has been the most rewarding year of my life, and it's only getting better.  I wanted a place on this blog to share my birth story and some special photos so that one day my son can read about the day he came into this world and made it a better place. Bringing Rivers into the world was the hardest and greatest thing I've ever done.
Here we go, my Labor Day...

Rivers' Birth Story

Rivers was due to arrive on December 3, 2011. That didn't happen. I can remember the final weeks building up to my due date. It was very surreal for me, and sometimes it still is. To watch the scale go up, your belly grow out, then actually feel a movement inside of your body, is incredible. I still to this day can't believe what my body has done. Life is such a miracle, I cannot even understand it. When December hit, so did reality for me. Inside this belly was a person. A real life baby would be in our arms before we knew it. Knowing that you have to get this human out somehow is a terrifying thing! When my due date hit, I was scared. It is strange though, because I really anticipated it. . I got so many calls, texts, facebook posts on my due date asking where he was, "comeon already", etc.. and that was hard for me. Trust me I wanted nothing more than for my water to break and for labor to start, because- hey, I was 40 weeks and it was time. December 4,5,6,7,8,9 ...the longest days of my life, all dragged by, and I was still pregnant. I felt like something was wrong with my body because labor just wasn't happening. Everyone gave advice on starting it: eating pineapple, eggplant, lots of walking, etc, and I tried it all. Finally my doctor started talking induction. I was told to expect a call on Thursday Dec 8, and that we would go into the hospital early that morning to start induction. I had a date, my bags were packed, I was READY to have this baby on that day. Seth and I barely slept that night anticipating that phone call. The next morning rolls around with no missed calls and I was crushed. Every day that I was still pregnant meant more phone calls, more texts, more people asking where the baby was. Being overdue was horrible. The only thought that got me by was "I have created the perfect home for this baby, and he is comfortable". I tried really hard to stay positive and just know that he would be here when he was ready. Saturday December 10th Seth and I went to lunch at Houlihanns with Helen and Joe. I can remember what I ate, what I wore, where we sat. My bag was packed, the carseat was installed and I was praying that something would happen. During lunch I got a phone call, not from the doctor, but from my Aunt Leigh Ann. She is a labor and delivery nurse in Maryland and was planning on coming to Pittsburgh for Rivers birth. She put a call in to Magee Hospital, told them my situation, and they told her to have me come in. I couldn't believe it could just be that simple. We finished lunch, hugged Helen and Joe goodbye, and drove to the hospital. We were pretty quiet and held hands the whole way. I took one last belly photo:

 We arrived at the hospital on Saturday December 10th at around 5:00. We carried in my labor bag and took the elevator to the third floor. We walked to the desk and I signed in my name. They gave me a few papers to sign and told us they'd call us back soon. I sat there and told Seth that this wasn't happening. I was sure they would send us back home. No way could you just walk in there, sign a paper and start the process of labor. They called us back to the window, gave us our bracelets and walked us to our delivery room. Talk about surreal! Walking into a room pregnant and knowing that you aren't leaving this room without your baby. Wow. Reality! A few nurses came in and started my IV, but only after a few unsuccessful attempts, ouch. My mom, Aunt and sisters got to the hospital pretty early on and we all just sat around for a while anxiously waiting for the doctor.

 My belly was hooked up to a fetal heart monitor, the doctor placed a small pill into my cervix, and induction had finally begun around 6:00 pm. I remember Baba, my dad, my Pap, Helen, Joe, and Narissa had all arrived at some point. My friend Autumn stopped in and gave me a hug. Baba came in with her camera and took a few pictures with me in early labor and I was all smiles. Early on we watched the monitor as the waves went up, showing a contraction and I just sort of sat there not feeling anything yet. I was really worried that the pill wouldn't jump start the labor and that I would have to use Pitocin. I had read every baby book, blog, birth story I could get my hands on and had heard negative things about a Pitocin induction; namely that it was nearly impossible for an all natural drug free childbirth with a Pitocin induction. I stayed positive though, and to my surprise my nurses told me that I was actually in the early stages of labor on my own and that the pill should help me to contract more frequently soon. Hearing this gave me a small boost of confidence. After another hour, I could start to feel the contractions as I watched them rise up on the monitor. It felt uncomfortable, but bearable. At that point I decided to start practicing using "the breath"  that I had learned in birthing class and  listening to my HypnoBabies Birthing CDs . The tapes were so relaxing and really helped me to focus. I had dreamed for months about what my labor would be like, and it was quiet. My eyes stayed closed almost the whole time. I tried really hard to focus and stay calm. There were three people allowed into my delivery room at a time and each time a new person switched in I felt their love. I always remember when Helen came in and saw me in hard labor. She held my hand and told me "you are surrounded by love'. She couldn't have been more right. My sister Amy flew in from North Carolina to support me when I needed her the most. She held my hand through my toughest moments of insufferable back labor and got me through each pressure wave. She knew what I needed to hear and she got me through some of the hardest moments of my life. My mom played with my hair and held me. My Aunt massaged my legs and feet.  Seth sat behind me in the hospital bed and put pressure on my back to ease my pain. I was fed ice chips and had my face cooled with rags. I was writhing in pain. I wanted to cry and lose control, but I didn't. I was surrounded by the most intense love I have ever felt. That room was bursting full of peace and love. Baby Rivers was going to be born into the perfect room. Right outside, the rest of our family was waiting and praying. My water broke around 1:00 am. I remember saying "something's happening down there"! They all reassured me that this is good, your body is doing exactly as it should, good job. There was lots of positivity. The hours went on and I started to feel weaker. I was getting worn down and started to second guess a drug free birth. I remember asking for an epidural. I had told Seth previously to discourage me from this, because I knew that I really wanted to see what I could do without it. I reached a point though where I was mentally worn out. My doctor's shift had ended and a new one was assigned, Dr. England. He asked me "Why are you putting yourself through unnecessary pain? Take the epidural." This was horrible. His words made me doubt myself and I became terrified. I am saddened that I let this man break me mentally, but I am also grateful for his ability to safely deliver my child. I made it through six hours of un-medicated hard labor. I am very proud of this. I got my epidural probably around 1:30 AM or so. I remember feeling very cold and shaky when I got it. I was told to nap for a bit, which is sort of impossible when you are about to give birth haha. I did rest a bit and at 5:50 AM I was told that I was ready to push. Everything was surreal. It was like a dream.

6:05 AM, December 11, 2011 was the absolute best moment of my life. I heard that little cry and the whole world changed. My healthy, big baby at 7.14 lbs and 20.5 in. You are my everything, Rivers. Your daddy and I love you more than we know how to say. Raising you is the best job I could have ever hoped for. I tell you everyday: you are the moon and the stars, you are the beat in my heart, you are the sugar popsicle king, you are everything. Thank you so much for the best year of my life.